December 11th, 2009
What’s with the rubber edging around your shoes? Are those shoes going to play bumper cars with other rubber edged shoes?
That’s right. My sister Amanda was talking about my shoes. She posed this particular zinger this summer as she stared down at my comfy shoes. The shoes I love wearing on stage, out for drinks, to the park. Yes…most of my shoes do have rubber edging. It’s not cool, but it’s what I’ve worn for years, ever since I swore off high-heals.
That all changed last month. I found myself hunting for a pair of boots to match an amazing new dress I’d bought. And there I was, trying on non-rubber-edged heals…and liking them!
The whole decision was loaded with meaning. You see, I was in the midst of redefining myself in my career (this new web design is part of that) and even in my life.
So suddenly it had nothing to do with the shoes. The shoes had become a metaphor – the BIGger question was, Who am I? And who do I want to be…in work and in life?
Do I wear a bumper-car-flat shoe (steady, grounded and comfortable) or a saucy-healed-boot (adventurous and bold)? Which is the genuine me? Switching shoe styles felt akin to a personality overhaul!
Marcus Buckingham, in his book Go Put your Strengths to Work says that as we grow in our careers “we become more of who we already are.” So if that’s the case, who am I?
It took another conversation (less sarcastic on her part) for me to have the BIG gem moment. I don’t need to choose just one element to define me. I’m evolving. I’m exploring different ways of expressing myself in work (and apparently in fashion). I can wear both types of shoes until one no longer feels genuine. I don’t need to pressure myself to pick now.
So here are a few “stop trying…start doing!” questions for you:
- How might you “try on a new pair of shoes” this month? In work? In life?
- If you’re an entrepreneur, remember that you and your business are separate entities. It’s okay if you are in fact MORE than your business. It’s very difficult to capture ALL that you are in your business – it’s image and marketing and style. How might you cut yourself some slack and allow yourself to evolve in the business and outside of it?
If this entry inspired a BIG gem for you tell us about it! What BIG gem are you committing to this month. Focus on one. Act on one. Just one BIG gem!
Thanks for this great post Rhonda! Reconciling these big questions like “who am I” and sorting out ones genuine self is a constant battle of dualities. I have found these dualities can often make you feel really superficial and create huge stress to “drop” one of these aspects of oneself. For that reason I found this post particularly useful and comforting. I think it also fits well with your latest newsletter about “I trust”. We need to trust that we will grow more and more into our genuine selves: both personally and professionally. It’s about giving the time and space to grow and above all to be kind to yourself in the process. Great advise!
Thanks for writing Monica! I trust that your awareness of your journey is already launching you toward being your most genuine self. I hope you make the space in 2010 to enjoy the process:)
There are certainly a lot of details like that to take into consideration. That is a great point to bring up. I offer the thoughts above as general inspiration but clearly there are questions like the one you bring up.
Hi, great post. I stumbled upon this blog, but I will definitely bookmark it. Take care.
Thanks for the shout out Willie & Women’s Shoes…what’s your BIG gem this week? What one action will have a BIG impact on your work or life?
This is a good blog, I was wondering if I could use this piece on my website, I will link it back to your website though. If this is a problem please let me know and I will take it down right away.
Jackie – absolutely you can reference this blog post. I’m thrilled you enjoyed the BIG gem. Please link your reference right back to this page.
Make it a great day!
Rhonda