When I recently asked my coaching client, ‘what helps high performers be wildly effective AND deeply satisfied?’, he paused. He pondered. He answered – caffeine and yoga.

Love it! But no.  

High performers achieve enlightened productivity by entrenching rituals of energy, rituals of relationships and rituals of focus.

One of my favorite focus rituals is weekly reflection time. Some of the men I coach call it ‘push back’ time (because they physically push back from their desks). Some of the women I coach call it ‘visioning time’ because they set down the to-do list and think big picture for 30 minutes.

So whether you want to apply this to your work or your life, ask these two questions in your reflection time. Just two questions to move you closer to enlightened productivity:

    What do I want to say yes to?
    What do I want to say no to?

Breathe deep into your belly when you ask these questions. That will open your energy up to feel the right answers rise up. Here’s what comes up for clients when I ask them:

I want to say yes to:
-      Opportunity
-      Freedom
-      Connection
-      Forgiveness
-      New challenge
-      Peace
-      A particular project
-      Ease
-      Joy
-      Focus
-      Believing
-      Optimism
-      Acceptance

I want to say no to:
-      Procrastination
-      Guilt
-      Fear
-      An invitation
-      Ego
-      An unfair expectation
-      Distraction
-      Worry
-      Unhealthy conversations
-      Tension
-      A particular project
-      Doubt
-      Pessimism

Personally, I’m choosing to say yes to forgiveness. Of myself. And others around me. Each time I return to that in reflection I am lighter and more effective.

Sit quietly for a moment. Ask the questions. Breathe into your belly and listen for the answer.

That answer will help you be productive at work. Connected at home. Deeply satisfied.

Yesterday I had the joyful experience of witnessing a beautiful woman (inside and out) breathe into those questions. She chose to say YES to her own health. And NO to guilt. And she actually squealed with excitement when she acted on that YES!

In the words of energy-guru Dr. Sue Morter, may you boldly choose YES in 2012.

Remember, it’s not about managing time. It’s about managing energy.

You have all that you need within you. Now notice it. And choose it.

This was also sent out as our December 2011 newsletter – and with it was a special “Psssst…” what’s new with me section. If you want to receive that directly in your inbox, click here to sign up.

Rhonda Victoor, Productivity Expert
Call: 250-712-0085
Comment below – join the conversation!

Confessions from the Productivty Expert

I’m finished with time management. Done.

Are you with me?

I mean, why do we manage our time anyway?
   -  On the surface: to show up on time for meetings
   -  A little deeper: so the important things get done
   -  Deeper still: to feel satisfied and present

None of those outcomes are really about managing time. They are about focus.

Focus isn’t about managing time. It’s about managing energy. It’s about presence. It’s about clarity of purpose.

No, wait. Clarity of purpose is too heavy. It implies I have one purpose in life and I will struggle for decades to find it. Ugh.

Perhaps clarity of priorities.

No, that’s not it either. Priorities are like the engineer of the time-management-train we’ve been riding blindly for decades. When someone asks about my priorities they hear guilt items and societal-shoulds mixed in with a few values and passions.

That’s it! Clarity of passions.

When I am clear on my passions then focus comes. Priority comes. Purpose comes.

Had you asked me what my passions were a month ago I would have said hiking, coaching, my family and goat cheese. [Yes, I fell in love with goat cheese in Paris in 1996 and we’ve had a passionate relationship ever since!]

But thanks to the Attwoods, authors of the Passion Test, I have a completely new vision of passions. My talented colleague and friend Lisa Chell coached me through the passion test. Buy the book or call Lisa to learn more: she is a masterful coach, she is humble and she does powerful work with people who really want to combine body and mind to reach the next level. What I noticed:
   -  This is about passionately enjoying the journey. My clear list of passions at the end was helpful, but the process to get there was where the growth happened.
   -  Passions change. As frequently as every 6 months. I can’t put a box around what my future will look like.
   -  Passions are ‘pebbles’ that show us where home is. That remind us who we really are.

At the top of my list of passions was “living in a state of forgiveness and acceptance”. Since clarifying this, my decision making is faster and I am getting important sh*t done in a calm and productive way!

Goat cheese didn’t make it into the top 5.

Managing time is always on the initial list of coaching goals with my clients. But as the process unfolds, they move deeper. They get clear on how they want to be in the world. Who she is as a new senior leader. Who he is as father, brother and son through challenges. And who she really is now that she’s single for the first time in years.

It’s never really been about managing time. It’s about managing our energy. It’s about presence. It’s about clarity of passions.

What new ritual might you create this week to address those? Tell us below – join the conversation!

 2012 is ready for you to live and work and connect in deeper, more meaningful ways. Are you ready?

Rhonda Victoor, Productivity Expert

This was originally sent out as our November 2011 newsletter – if you’d like to receive the newsletter in your inbox, click here to sign up.

We have approximately 60,000 thoughts each day. Most pop in and right back out. Those tend to be  observations about what’s around us in the present.

But the lingering thoughts that distract are not about the present. They are about the past or future. And they are negative. For many of us they do more than distract: they cause stress and keep us stuck in old patterns.

These thoughts tend to fall under 2 umbrellas:

A.   FUTURE FEAR thoughts – I’m worried about…  What’s going to happen?  How I will manage that?

B.  PAST REGRET thoughts – I wish that hadn’t happened?  Why did it go that way? If only I had…

What thoughts have distracted you in the past hour? Do they fall under one of those umbrellas?

Ultimately it’s our thoughts that keep us from focusing.

So how do we bring our minds back to the present so we can DO what’s most important and BE who we really want to be?

1. Notice.
2. Label.
3. Choose presence.

When you see these thoughts, step back and notice them without judging or chastising yourself for being distracted.

     Hmmm…interesting.

Then label it under one of those umbrellas. This will take its power away and remind you it’s about fear or regret, nothing more. Nothing epic.

     Hmmm…interesting. There is that old future fear thought.

Then make a conscious statement to choose presence. You’ll do much better work if your body and mind are in the same location.

     Hmmm…interesting. There is that old future fear thought.
     I choose to focus on the present, because this is all I really have.

Focus. It’s about continually returning to presence. First. 

Once we’re present we can actually use all the time management tools we’ve learned. We can do the most important things first.

We can only be our BEST when we are present. We can only be true high performers when we are present.

Thank you to my colleague and friend Brenda Montani for sharing this exercise with me (which comes from the mindfulness movement) and being part of my journey. Brenda, the work that you and your husband Pat do with Bicycles for Humanity is beautiful!!

Please share your story below – tell us about when you were really present and what unfolded.

If you’re ready to apply rituals of focus and rituals of energy, email me about sharing my rituals of high performance keynote with your group. Info@RhondaVictoor.com 

After all, it’s not about managing time…it’s about managing energy!

Rhonda Victoor, Productivity Expert
250-712-0085
Info@RhondaVictoor.com

What does a frog have to do with productivity, I wondered?

“Every morning I swallow the frog. That’s one of the keys to my success.” We all gazed at Daniel Gutierrez, confused. He went on to explain, “Every morning I do the most difficult thing…the most important thing…first. That’s the frog. The day feels much easier after I swallow it.”

Maybe it was Daniel’s booming voice, or infectious laugh, or amazing warmth. Or maybe I was ready for a fresh reminder about the importance of starting the day with a BIG win.

Whatever the reason, the frog-swallowing-analogy worked! The past 10 days have been wildly productive. One morning I swallowed a frog by writing a section for my  book. One morning I swallowed a frog by phoning a colleague who I felt moved to contact as a sponsor for a youth resiliency event in Red Deer Alberta that I’m passionate about supporting. And this morning my frog was setting aside piles of work to meditate.

So what’s it going to be? What’s your frog this morning? Just swallow it! And then post details below so we can be  inspired by your choice to do what’s most important TODAY!

Rhonda Victoor, Productivity Expert
it’s not really about managing time
it’s about managing energy
energy + focus + relationships = enlightened productivity
bring Rhonda into your next event to share these 3 elements

On the outside Barb looked like a high performer. But Barb was on the brink of burnout. Barb (whose name has been changed to respect her privacy) is like many of my coaching clients.

When we met Barb teetered on the brink:
- Like many of us Barb worked at a fast pace. She managed projects and people in a high tech firm.
- When she started coaching, her goal was to leave her laptop at the office each evening. In her year on the job, she had succeeded in that goal only 3 times.
- She was always putting out fires with no time for quiet work. So the quiet work came home.
- Barb didn’t rest at work and she certainly didn’t rest at home.
- Are you like Barb? How’s that workin’ for you?

Barb thought she needed to manage her time better. But really she needed to manage her energy.

The customized rituals of energy we built for Barb:

1. Bad habit of realizing at 3pm she hadn’t taken a breath of air nor had she eaten anything.
Energy ritual = mini-breaks: morning walk (attached to tea time) and lunch.

2. Bad habit of doing “quiet work” at night at home since there was no quiet time at work.
Energy ritual = closing her door for 1 hour every morning. She blocked it in as a recurring meeting and asked staff to respect that boundary.

3. Bad habit of fire-fighting sporadically through the day and leaving work with danglers.
Energy ritual = saying no to late afternoon meetings so as to protect that time for email and fire extinguishing.

The results =
* More energy through the day!
* Quiet work done in the morning in highest energy window.
* Fires and danglers wrapped up at days end.
* So when she went home, she could really rest. And nap as long as she wanted!

We need energy rituals to rest. What boundary do you need to put up to protect your energy? Make it a ritual!

And once you’ve secured rest rituals, find one ritual to BOOST your energy. For me that’s hip hop. I’m horrible at it, but I love dance so much! I get a huge energy boost from it. For you it is……………..??? Post your comment below with your energy ritual to REST, or your energy ritual to BOOST!

High performers don’t have more will power. They have rituals. 

If you’re ready to create your own customized rituals for high performance, link me up with the conference planner for your next work retreat or professional association conference – direct them to this program and email me at Info@RhondaVictoor.com to  make it happen!

You already know resolutions don’t work. Because resolve isn’t enough – we need rituals if we’re going to make lasting change.

What are the energy rituals that work for you? Post them as a comment below. Here are a few of mine:

The scramble: For years I’ve had a weekly ritual of scrambling up Knox Mountain with one of my best friends. It’s energizing because we’re sweating in the great outdoors and because we talk the whole way up and the whole way down. It’s good for my soul. And it’s been a lasting ritual because we’ve found the one window of time that fits our lives and we’re fully committed to it. There is no question: the hike happens every week. 

The sprint: A brand new ritual I just implemented a few months ago is sprinting on the treadmill. I’ve toyed with this one before. When I’d get stuck on a proposal, I’d step onto the treadmill (its right behind my desk in the office) and run for 90 seconds until I figured out the answer. I’ve resumed that ritual and also started a 10-20 minute sprint in the early morning with my children as onlookers. I gave up trying to find a quiet time to run alone. This way they can ask me every 20 seconds “how fast are you going now Mom?” 

Over the past decade of working with high performers I’ve seen them use a range of great energy rituals:
- pick-up hockey at lunch
- completely turning off work on the weekend
- committing to a coffee break EVERY morning
- taking a short walk around the block at 2pm every day
- snacking on almonds mid-afternoon
- going to bed by 10pm every night

If you want a great book on managing your energy, as a way to master your time, read The Power of Full Engagement by Schwartz and Loehr.

Stuck? Would it help if you had a coach AND a mastermind group to help you implement your rituals? I’m leading a series of mastermind group starting this month. If you’ve always thought you’d like to coach but can’t affort the 1-on-1 model of coaching, this is perfect for you. Click here for the details.

“I hear the garage door open and I feel so torn. My wife and son are home. I’m excited to see them…but I’m right in the middle of work. I have 4 email messages started. And I’m almost ready to send off the project to my client. ” Gary was stuck.

Gary worked from home. In fact he juggled 3 different roles from a home office. He wanted to leave work at 5:15 when he heard the garage door open. But he couldn’t. His body greeted his family at the door, but his mind was still at work.

Ever experience that? You want to leave work at work. But when your garage door opens at the end of the day…where is your head?

Gary felt trapped. There were always so many projects. So many emails awaiting reply. So much work. How could he turn it off?

The BIG gem moment came for Gary when I asked him, “how realistic are you about what can be achieved in a day?”  Hmmm… And “how often do you complete your to-do list for a particular day?”  Never. And that’s completely draining. It’s de-motivating. It makes me feel like I have no control over my work or my time.

This was his impetus. Gary realized he’d fallen victim to the work, instead of leading it. That ticked him off. Something needed to change.

Are you ticked off enough to change the situation? Do you have the energy to change it? Gary found the energy: perhaps his experience will spark something for you. He decided to change what he had control over.

The strategy we created for Gary worked backwards. First he chose the time he would stop working: 5pm. A full 15 minutes before his family arrived home. Secondly he set a 4:30pm alarm on his computer and phone: when it buzzed he had to choose just 1 task to complete. The rest needed to be closed immediately with notes made so he could pick it up tomorrow. And thirdly he set a daily reminder to ring at noon to remind him to look at today’s task list and get real. Decide mid-day which priorities could ACTUALLY be completed this afternoon.

The first day that he followed the strategy he realized he was unrealistic. He planned way too much in a day. And in so doing, he didn’t tackle the true priorities. They were buried in would-be-nice tasks. As he expected, it was hard on that first day to close things up at 4:30pm and focus on completing just 1 task in the final half hour.

But what he hadn’t anticipated was how amazingly productive he felt at 5pm. For the first time in years Gary paused to feel proud of what he achieved that day. That final 15 minutes was a gift of reflection. He was proud and he was confident that when tomorrow morning came, he’d be ready to dive into those items he had to close up tonight. When the garage door opened that night his body and his mind were fully standing at the door awaiting the hello hugs.

When your garage door opens where is your mind?

You can get real with your time. You can choose to close email and projects. You can choose to turn off your phone. You can select the real priorities. And you don’t need to do it alone. Ask a colleague or boss or friend or coach for help. Don’t wait any longer. You deserve to feel that sense of achievement and confidence…today!

Isn’t that what it’s really all about – when the garage door opens at the end of the work day? That’s the important stuff: that’s living the life you want. This is the year…stop trying and start doing it!

Marla looked intently at me and explained ”One thing I’ve always been is empathetic.” She was serious. I was confused. The main reason I’d been hired to coach Marla was to grow her empathy with colleagues.

You see, Marla was an expert in her field and extremely direct. Her colleagues perceived this as rude and unyielding. They felt she was unwilling to see their point of view.

It didn’t line up. If she was empathetic…why wasn’t that showing up at work? It took us a few weeks to pin point it through our coaching and along the way Marla experienced these BIG gem moments:

  – I know what’s important to me in my work and I stand up for it strongly. But I don’t know what’s important to my colleagues. I’ve assumed I know, but I’ve never asked.

  - When I’m irritated with a colleague, it’s because I know better than him. Saying this out loud I realize I’m being egotistical. This is against my humble nature.

  - I realize that annoyed is my red-flag word. It’s my cue to pause and identify what I’m really feeling – threatened, defensive, superior.

  - I’ve created many roles where I ’m the only one who understood something. That way they NEED me. They CAN’T live without me. But this only really serves me on the superficial level. Is my self-worth tied to what I know or what I do…or who I am? 

Boom. From this moment forward Marla shifted. Once she was honest about how she felt in those meetings with colleagues, she could finally put herself in their shoes. She could use the empathy skills she developed years ago in her personal life. She actually FELT like she wanted to understand them and help them. She told me “When I feel myself getting annoyed, I pause. I step back and analyse  what I’m feeling. I step into their shoes. I feel so proud of myself when I’m empathetic and can TRULY help them out.”  Beautiful!!

So how about you: do you find yourself unable to access your strengths in some situations or with some people? Ask yourself:

  – With whom am I behaving in a way that is different from my best self? What is that about?

  – What am I assuming about those people?  What questions might I ask them to check those assumptions?

  – What am I really feeling when I’m around those people?

  – I wonder what it would be like to step into their shoes? Perhaps I’ll try that…

  – Am I valuing myself for who I am…or simply for what I do?

You are more than your job. More than the tasks you complete. And like Marla, you are capable of accessing your skills and strengths in all parts of work and life. Pause…get honest…stop trying and start doing!

* In February 2010 I shifted attention in my blog posts to the BIG gems of  my clients. They amaze me with what they uncover in their lives. I still write about my own BIG gems in the newsletter: check out the archives here for my latest reveal.

Sally sighed on the other end of the phone line, “Rhonda, I try to meet new people, but I’m just not connecting with them. Frankly, a lot of them are boring.”  It was our second coaching session. Sally had recently moved to a new city and was trying to connect with people: to build a circle of colleagues, make friends, and hopefully meet a man. She was doing all the right things: going to networking events and joining groups that interested her. But she just wasn’t connecting.

So I gave her a challenge: with the very next person you meet, keep asking questions until you find just ONE thing you can connect on. She agreed.

One week later she called to say, “I had my BIG gem moment Rhonda—I’m a snob. I hear someone share a little info, I think I’ve figured them out, so I tune out. I put people in a little box and plunk them on the shelf labelled ‘boring’. I’m a snob!” 

I think if we’re really honest, there might be a tiny snob within each one of us.

I know I’ve made quick judgements of people, only to realize later, that I hadn’t asked enough questions. In fact years ago one of my favourite colleagues was someone I labelled as obnoxious and overbearing when we first met.

So think about the people in your life that you have judged to be boring or annoying or “insert-label-here”. Did you ask enough questions?

The next time you see that person, or the next time you attend a networking event, recognize that your Sally-the-snob might peak out. Before she has that person you’re talking to ”all figured out“ ask a few more questions. Don’t plunk them on the shelf in a neat and tidy box quite yet. Perhaps that person is just the friend or colleague you’ve been looking for after all.    

* Watch the video clip of Rhonda telling this story in a recent Out with Schmooze presentation. Read more about the Out with Schmooze keynote here so you can spice up your next conference and actually connect with your colleagues! 

** starting 2 BLOG posts ago (Who am I aspiring to be?) I committed to share my client’s BIG gems in this forum. If you want to read about my own BIG gem moments, check out the newsletters archives here.

My client Olivia paused. She’d been highly stressed for weeks. And she’d just decided to quit her job. “Each time my boss would fail to follow through, I’d give him the benefit of the doubt…it’s the optimist in me. Months ago my husband Peter tried to tell me this job wasn’t right for me. But I didn’t take his precaution to heart. He’s always such a pessimist.”

Hmmm. Which are you? A pessimist like Peter or an optimist like Olivia?

Whichever end of the spectrum you lean toward, you likely believe firmly that it’s the RIGHT way. If you’re an optimist like me and Olivia, you have a long list of times when you were right: things did turn out okay. And if you’re a pessimist like Peter, you have a long list of experiences when your doubting-hunch has saved you.

While you and your spouse are duelling over which really IS better, p0nder this. You’re both wrong. Neither is better than the other. In fact they are both the same: they are both assumptions. One ASSUMES a happy-ever-after conclusion. And the other ASSUMES impending-disaster. But at the core, they are assumptions. And they are each, very likely, based on incomplete information.

If we want to make better decisions, we need to stop assuming. And we need to start asking questions. It’s why coaching works so well…we ask questions. Hard questions.

So Olivia, what did your boss say when you asked him about failing to follow through? “Ummm…I didn’t ask. I assumed.”

Olivia isn’t alone. We all make assumptions every day. We even refer to our perspective (optimistic or pessimistic) as our instinct, inner voice or gut feeling. The problem is that our instinct can’t work at full capacity with partial information. We need more facts. We need to ask more questions. In the study of emotional intelligence, which I often assess my clients on, we call this “reality testing”. Our ability to gather information to fully understand what’s really happening.

So think about the last time your optimism, or pessimism didn’t work out for you. Might you have made a better decision if you’d asked a few more questions? Pause. Ask. Then listen to your instincts.

And the next time you find yourself labelling someone as too optimistic or pessimistic, pause. Admit that you’re both making assumptions. Then brainstorm together about what questions need to be asked so you can EACH make a more informed choice.

* starting with the BLOG post just before this (Who am I aspiring to be?) I have committed to share my client’s BIG gems here. If you want to read about my own BIG gem moments, check out the newsletters archives here.